there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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