I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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