Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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