We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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