I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
