She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
