dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
