Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
