Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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