Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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