why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
