i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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