The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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