i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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