4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
