you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
