Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
