Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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