I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
cat food counts as protein by the way
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
