me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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