apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
well you can't waste a boner
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
