So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize