I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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