So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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