I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
