Midget sex pt 2 tonight
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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