Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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