I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
