I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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