I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
