you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
