Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just googled if crying burns calories
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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