dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
