he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
how does that bad decision feel?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
