I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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