Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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