They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
