Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
