why didn't you poke me back
He kissed a someone with a penis
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
