I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
