My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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