Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
