Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
