At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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