I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
