..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
