i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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