can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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