i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
