I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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