just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
