i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
