Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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