Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
