there's paper in my vomit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
