that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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