Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
