We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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