4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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