after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We left the knife in your bed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
