just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
